Thursday, October 27, 2011

Rainy day

Today is an extremely rainy, dreary, fall day.  Which is kind of fitting since I'm sick.  But, I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon and hopefully I'll get some meds and will be on the road to recovery!  It's a good thing because we have a busy weekend with Aiden's Halloween parade tomorrow at school, a birthday party this weekend, and Halloween on Monday!!

Things around here have been a bit crazy.  Last week was really hard.  It just felt like one thing after the other- an unexpected bilirubin test for Brady (he's fine!), a broken oven, phone calls with the insurance company due to annoying issues, and here's the icing on the cake...Aiden knocked his front tooth out at church on Sunday (our first week back).  Sometimes, you just have to laugh instead of cry.  But, I'm not gonna lie, I've been shedding lots of tears recently.

This is a difficult time.  Adjusting to life with a newborn is hard, but when I look at this face, my heart just melts.  This is a hard time, but he's totally worth it.

Every time I want to complain about getting up in the middle of the night to nurse, or am frustrated that I can't finish a load of laundry because Brady is cranky...I remind myself of being 10 weeks pregnant and having a scare that we thought we had miscarried.

Babies are miracles and it's easy to forget just how much of a gift children are, when they're screaming or you're getting no sleep, or your toddler is driving you crazy.

I know this is a season right now, and I'm learning that I just need to take it day by day.  That's hard for me- I like to plan, I like things to be in order.

I keep joking with Rob that I will get sleep and do things for myself when the kids are in college.  Of course I know that it will happen before then, but my point is that even though this time is hard right now, its ok.  I'm doing my best not to feel overwhelmed by all the things I can't get done but want to.

So today I am sitting on the sofa, snuggling my baby and ignoring by to-do list.


Thursday, October 13, 2011


I'm still here, alive and well- not totally well, but surviving.  The c-section recovery was not bad at all- and life would be back to normal if I didn't have unbearable back pain.  But, the good news is there is light at the end of the tunnel.  It seems that I have something called Sacroilliac Joint Dysfunction, which is very common in pregnancy.  I started PT this week and am already starting to feel beeter.  Tomorrow at PT they're supposed to put my hip back in place and hopefully then I will have significant relief.

Having to live with this constant pain the past few weeks has really made me think about people who live every day of their lives with pain.  I have friend who has Rheumatoid Arthritis, and I always think about her whenever I am dealing with pain ( like migraines).  When you aren't living with pain, you take everything for granted.  When I am feeling well, I don't ever really think about how lucky I am to be able to get myself dressed quickly, or get down on the floor and play with my son.  I've had a hard time these past few weeks, feeling like a failure as a mother, and wife.  It takes me at least twice as long, if not longer to do things, like getting dressed, or walking down the stairs.  I am so thankful that it seems like this is not somehting I will have to deal with long-term, but I know there are a lot of moms out there who are dealing with constant pain.

So, I haven't had much time to take cute pictures of my boys...I hate pictureless posts, so I will post this one, taken by the professional photographer at the hospital.  I love how Aiden is looking at Brady.

Aiden's had lots of grandparent time the past couple weeks.  We are so blessed to live close to our parents who love helping us and enjoy lots of time with Aiden.  Aiden's also thoroughly been enjoying school, and he even tells us about what he's learning and who is friend's are.

Brady is a typical newborn...likes to eat every few hours, sleeps a lot.  But, he is starting to become more aware and more awake.  I've been trying to get him to smile, and when I talk to him, Aiden likes to inform me that Brady is a baby and he can't talk.  I try to encourage Aiden that just because Brady can't talk, doesn't mean we shouldn't talk to him.

Rob is away for a few days for a guy's weekend with friends from college.  I am so glad that he is doing this, even though it is a hard time at home right now (again, thankful for family close by to help). Rob rarely takes time for himself, and he works very hard both at home and at work.  He more than deserves this time with his friends and I am thankful that it worked out for him to be able to do this.  But, I do miss him terribly.

So, that's where I'm would be easier if I didn't have this pain, but I do, so I am taking one day at a time, and doing what I can.